Poverty itself does not make children feel inferior. The life troubles that occur because of poverty, the mentality of parents and the evaluation of the outside world, will arouse the mood of children’s inferiority.
But if you are good at guiding and responding positively and giving your child the right values and judgment, poverty will not have a substantial impact on children.
Children are more artless, and their desire for matter is not very strong.
If you are not rich, you can be honest with your child about your current situation and show some simple financial condition, so that your child is also involved in the construction of the family, can improve the child’s sense of responsibility and ownership.
Some parents blindly conceal their children, work tirelessly to meet the child’s requirements and desires, and elevated the child. When the child found out the truth one day, their material desire can no longer be satisfied, it will cause the child to fall into deep inferiority and pain.
If you are from the Asian family, you might have this same situation. Some parents will pass on anxiety and uneasiness to their children,
“We work hard to make money because of you”
“We spend so much money on you, you should study hard and get a good result.”
Poverty is not the child’s responsibility. These words may only be intended to make the child submissive, sensible, but this will inspire the child’s anxiety and guilt, thus turning into inferiority and melancholy.
Poverty is not terrible, the love of parents can heal everything. The positive response and caress of parents is the child’s greatest strength and sense of security.
I once read an article by a psychologist and analyzed why 4 children committed suicide by drinking pesticide.
Some people say that they do it because of poverty, but the psychologist said that he grew up in a poor family, but did not feel inferior, because his mother gave him full love. The 4 children have a beautiful two-story house, as well as a cornfield and two pigs, and teachers and grandparents take care of them quite well. But the mother ran away from home, and the father had a serious tendency to be violent and could not be reached.
There is a famous saying: “No response is the desperate situation.” The psychologist theorized that it was this desperate situation that killed the 4 children. The lack of parental love has put the 4 children on the brink. We have many families in Asia who think that making money is better than bringing children and that reputation is better than family warmth.
Everyone is very industrious, but the dedication and construction of the feelings of the family are very scarce.
The foundation of true self-confidence is love, and inferiority is based on the lack of love, although poor conditions can also lead to certain inferiority, but this is far less than the lack of love effect.
What should parents do when their children are criticized by the outside world for their poverty?
First of all, be neither obsequious nor arrogant, don’t show embarrassment, chagrin, anger emotions.
Secondly, tell the child, life is their own, happy or not, rich or not rely on their own efforts, do not get influenced because of other people’s evaluation.
Finally, judge the motive of speech, and if the purpose of the person’s words is to care, turn it into a driving force for your own progress.
If it is simply ridicule, it is completely unnecessary to take to heart, as long as you do what you have to do, then it is enough.
In the drip of daily life, cultivate children’s positive, lively and cheerful personality, be helpful and have a magnanimous mind. These are the precious gift for children and are better than the most expensive gift.