Ugly? High requirements? Too independent? Less friends?
I don’t think so!
Have you noticed that more and more people are being single around you?
They live a single life, unconsciously day after day, year after year.
Some might say because they have too few friends around them, they don’t like socializing, they’ve hurt by others before, they’re scared …
But I don’t think these are the ultimate reasons why a person is single for a long time.
So what kind of person is most likely to be single for too long? Most probably those who don’t have a stable love experience.
What does it mean by a person who does not have a stable love experience?
He/she has never started a relationship and has never experienced a real love process.
Because they never started, so being single has always been an easy thing to do, and falling in love has become a nuisance.
If you start a stable relationship, you will taste the joys and sorrows of love, will experience the kind of intimate life of two people together.
That is, the so-called accompanied by someone when eating and watching a movie, have someone take photos and talk to you when you’re traveling, have someone take care of you when you are sick, get a big hug after waking up; do some intimate activities before bed
When a person is in such a life for a long time, it is not easy to suddenly pull away, which is one of the reasons why the breakup is so painful.
And for people who have not been in love before, often rely on other people’s experience or romance to judge love, rather than judged according to their own experience.
They have not experienced the kind of thrilling and gentle resonance of love, so they are the easiest and most accustomed to being single.
So why are these people who have no love experience so obsessed with being single?
I have summed up the following reasons.
Life as a single is more secure.
They say that people who are addicted to being single and who are used to living alone will unconsciously think that this is the norm of life.
Like a game, when you are used to a map and play very well, you will not want to unlock the new map and new skills, because that map that you are good at can provide a sense of security and accomplishment, and the new map means to take risks.
That’s why it’s harder for people who are insecure in their own right to start a relationship.
Too much fantasy about the other half.
As someone who has been single for a long time, I belong to this type, which also leads me to have a lot of concerns about my other half in the future.
I will fear that my other half will not be able to accept some of my little quirks; I will afraid that I will have no freedom; I will afraid of incompatible personalities, always stoop to each other; I will afraid to fall in love too deeply, and unable to extricate myself; I will afraid that losing love will make me lost myself;
This also led to every person I met, my heart is full of all kinds of considerations and hesitation.
And, being single for too long also comes with a vicious circle: the longer a person being single, the easier it is to feel that he or she is not worthy of being loved.
And because from the bottom of my heart afraid that I do not deserve to be loved, so I enjoy loneliness even more.
It is said that love actually needs some impulse, in all kinds of worries and discretion, it is not surprising that love has been delayed.
The task in a certain stage of life has not been completed, do not want to be distracted.
Such people are usually more responsible, put stable before everything, and then love, not only to their own responsibility but also to each other, responsible for this relationship.
This attitude is actually very good, but the paradox of life is: the most heartwarming moment, often appear when you are not ready.
This is the spirit of life, but also the spirit of love. Or in other words, love is the most beautiful harmonic agent in mechanical life.
Moreover, stability is actually a relative concept, and everyone’s standards are different.
The negative impact of the family.
That is, parents relationship are not good, or too bland.
In a family like this, children don’t know how to build an intimate relationship.
If there is violence in the family, the child will be affected even more.
Unable to get in close contact with people, let alone with the opposite sex for a long time.
So in this case, they need to solve their own problems first, heal themselves, and then only start love.
In this society of high pressure and high competition coexistence, loud preaching of independence, full of all kinds of gorgeous and colorful people, it is indeed difficult to find the one who belongs to each other and be together for a long time.
But, despite this, for people who have been single for a long time, I still want to persuade you to try to get into a relationship.
As my mother said to me: “Although it is ok for you to not get married, I still hope that there is someone by your side”.