Do you have such an experience:
Greet everyone with a smiling face at work, but change face at home. If the family member touched the trigger, your bad temper immediately broke out.
In school, get along students amicably, back home, just because of nagging parents, sometimes lost your temper, or even argue with them.
This kind of person, give their good side to other people, but impatient or even lose their temper to the people around them.
Let’s take a look at one story, maybe it will make us more aware.
One day, she and her mother quarreled again, out of anger, she turned and ran out.
She walked for a long time and felt hungry when she saw a noodle shop in front of her. However, she didn’t even have a coin on her.
The owner of the noodle shop was a very kind-looking old lady, and she saw her standing there and asked: “Do you want some noodles?” “But I don’t have money”, she answered with some embarrassment. “It’s okay, it’s free”.
The old lady brought a bowl of noodles and a plate of vegetables. She was grateful. After taking a few bites, her tears fell rolls down her face. “What’s wrong?” The old lady asked with concern. “I’m all right, I’m just grateful!” She wiped her tears and said, “We don’t know each other, but you’re so nice to me that you’re willing to cook for me.” But my mother, I quarreled with her, and she kicked me out and told me not to go back.”
The old lady listened, calmly said: “How can you think so? Think about it, I just cooked a bowl for you to eat, you are so grateful to me, your mother cooked more than ten years for you, how can you not be grateful? How can you quarrel with her? The girl choked.
The girl hurriedly finished eating the meal, began to go home, when she went home, she saw her tired mother was looking around at the intersection looking for her. Her face immediately had a smile.
What do you think?
As the old lady said, she only cooked a bowl of noodles, and the girl was very grateful to her.
And the girl’s mother, more than 10 years, we can’t even count how many times her mother cooked for her.
We are grateful for what others do for us, and often turn a blind eye on the people closest to us, and even throw temper on them.
The feeling of tantrums and impatient towards our loved ones, there are several psychological reasons behind it:
First, you are acting like a good man just to please others.
Sometimes we play nice because we are defending our own role, this role makes us always friendly to outsiders. But because our loved ones watch us grow up, it’s hard for us to play this role in front of them.
Second, loved ones are safe and they allow you to step back.
When you encounter setbacks, you will give up the adult ways you have become accustomed to and instead degenerate into dealing with those frustrations and pressures like a child, which is a step back.
At this point, your subconscious tells you that your loved ones are safe. Because if you lose your temper to an outsider, they will leave you, or even will hurt you, but the people close to you are always your loved ones.