The damage caused by verbal abuse is far greater than you think


The individual’s initial assessment of oneself actually comes from the parents, if your parents think you are cute, when you grow up you are also more inclined to think that you are cute. If your parents think you are worth it, and when you grow up, you will also feel like you worth it. 

In a supermarket in Thailand, a son indulged in video games, his father got angry and put a loaded gun on the table, and said to his son: You either continue to play the game or kill me!” When he turned around, there was a” bang “sound behind him, and he had no idea that his son had shot him in the head with the gun …

His first reaction was to think that his son was faking. When he slapped his son, his body fell from the chair, the father suddenly realized, and fell to the ground.

The most hurtful thing in the world, other than bullets and daggers, is the words from the mouth.

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Verbal abuse, in fact, appears in our lives every day.

Parents are the closest people to the children, and the children care about what their parents think of them the most.

At the same time, children’s inner world is fragile and subtle, and injuries from their parents can have a serious negative impact on their children’s trust in themselves, others and the environment, especially verbal abuse by their parents, the harm to children’s moods and well-being is long-term, even if they are not aware of it.

“What else do you know besides eat?”

“Why are you so stupid?”

“Stop cry! Stop crying or I will throw you away!”

“You can’t eat or sleep if you can’t finish your homework!”

“Why you can’t be as good as other’s people children?”

“Why don’t you die?”

Aren’t these words familiar? (Most used words among Asian parents)

Our childhood has heard more or less such words, after listening to such words, we will wonder if we are really that bad, our self-esteem, self-confidence, the value of survival will be affected or even gradually destroyed.

For example, when a child gets angry and his parents ask him “not to be angry” every time he gets angry, he may think that it is “bad to be angry.” So, after growing up, when he met someone who angry, he will escape and even avoid conflict and dialogue, because he is afraid to face anger, don’t know how to deal with it.

Whether it’s ridicule, insults, debasement, or constant accusations and criticism, these words can convince children.

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The negative impact of verbal abuse on children’s personality and psychological development is long-term and immeasurable.

Its harm mainly has two forms of expression.

Retreat personality – That is, when the child is in high pressure, he/she often avoid the problems, avoid reality, dare not communicate with people normally, easy to form introverted, closed, low self-esteem, paranoid and other personality characteristics.

Attack personality – That is, after the child is subjected to  “verbal abuse”, he/she will become irritable, full of hatred, and rebellious. And in order to vent dissatisfaction, he/she will take excesses on others and society, directly affect and harm society and even harm themselves.

We all know that there are no perfect parents in the world, but we must realize that verbal abuse can do a lot of harm to children, and may even affect their lives.

As parents, we must express encouragement and recognition, and show support to the child.

Einstein, the great physicist, once said: “If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid”

Every child is unique, and what we have to do is to understand our children and take care of their healthy growth.

At the same time, I would like to say to those children who have been or are suffering from verbal abuse, believe that you can say “NO” to verbal abuse! Don’t be afraid, it’s not your fault, accept yourself, and then make a cry for change.

We should also slowly learn to reduce the continuation of harm in the upbringing of future generations.


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