Two days ago, I saw a question from my friend posted on Facebook: “If my girlfriend keeps on spreading ‘negativity’ to me, should I break up with her?”
I roughly read through the comments, most people feel that they should break up, the reason is the boyfriend/girlfriend should not become the emotional trash can, and everyone has their own things to busy on, no one has the obligation to collect your “negativity” every day.
Well… it seems to be true. However, and without going to the topic of breaking up, this topic has aroused my thinking about the phenomenon of “negativity”.
As if from time to time, we are surrounded by “we must be full of positive energy” theory, as if an optimistic and positive work hard, full of positive energy is the goal we have been pursuing.
And “negative energy”, is everyone should avoid, as if when you have this, you will be abandoned by this sunny world, can only sit alone in the corner, away from the crowd.
However, I would like to ask, as long as you are human, who doesn’t have a sad, desperate, angry, lonely moment?
Does the emergence of these so-called “negative energy”, is the most heinous?
In fact, I wanted to write a post about “negativity”, but I just can’t find the right reason to start, and I believed that the reason is that recently I also haunted by the so-called “negative energy”.
The passion for work seems to subside slowly, the inspiration for writing is often not found in me, feels like everything in my life is against me on the upward trend.
I took a half day leave last Friday, I lay in my bed for the rest of the day until nightfall, and barely eat anything.
The day I lay on the bed, my negative energy literally reached the bursting.
I complain, I self-pity, I am overwhelmed, I’m lost.
In retrospect, that day of me, is it for all the above reasons, or just because I indulge in my “negative energy” magnetic field, feel that unable to accept such a “negative energy” and become worse?
I think is the latter. When we were young, we were educated to be positive and optimistic.
But no one will tell us how to get along with our own negative emotions when we are sad.
When we are lonely or miserable, we are used to holding back and say, “I’m OK.” We are constantly advocating optimism, regardless of the cost of pushing optimism, we are blindly evading grief, regardless of how important the sadness is at the critical moment. We often despise ourselves and are often angry with ourselves.
Until this point, what I want to express seems to be very clear, that is, to your “positivity”, I sometimes have “negativity”, so what?
Accept your own “negativity” and learn to live in peace with it, and that’s what we need to do.
So, how can you achieve peaceful coexistence with your own “negativity”?
Be calm and receptive to your “negativity”
Why are there so many people who are now suffering from “depression”? I think the biggest reason is that these people are afraid and not good at accepting their own negative emotions. Always feel that these negative emotions should not appear, they are not allowed, they are wrong, produce a kind of resistance in their heart.
So the problem accumulated and accumulated until they can not bear it, it is too late.
So we have to be acutely aware that the emergence of negative emotions cannot be more normal. Aware of its existence, accept it, is your first step to reconciliation with yourself.
Find an outlet to relieve your “negativity”
When we realize our “negativity”, we need to find an outlet to release it out.
This outlet can be a diary filled with your mood, it can be a big meal that helps with your appetite, it can be a hearty Karaoke, or it can be a long talk with a trusted friend.
In short, when there is something in your heart, don’t pile it there, be sure to find a way to vent it out, so that you can vent out your mood and your problem can be solved.
Always adjust the balance of your emotions
We are just ordinary people, we can only be a good ordinary person. Life is not a TV series, we do not have so many high tides and twists and turns, we keep our small fortune, live our little day is good enough.
Joy or sadness, floating life, why care about the ups and downs of the moment?
Positive energy is good, but don’t forget that negative energy is also an essential partner in our life journey. Negativity is also in line with the road of life, why don’t we get along with it too?