When we were young, happiness was a very simple thing.
Happiness, is a praise, is a favorite dish, is a simple game, is a satisfactory score …
When we grow up, happiness is a difficult thing.
When we hear praise, we will suspect that someone else has ulterior motives; put on a table of delicious dishes, but only talk to others; do a simple job, but fight with colleagues; take a good salary, but the reality is overwhelmed…
This is life, grow in between of stumble and ups and downs. If happiness is in the heart, what you see is joy. If sadness is filled in your heart, what you see is suffering.
How to be happy like a child? When we were young, we cried and let it go when we can’t get it, we were angry, but we were relieved the next day, and we shared food toys without prejudices.
Now, we need to:
Stop complaining, learn to let it go.
One of my friends was scouted by a company to be a manager in that company, but the company environment is too complex. These two months, no matter how well he did, others intentionally make things difficult for him or accuse him maliciously. Clearly he did not do anything wrong, but during the meeting, he always got attacked by his colleagues.
Sometimes people will target you not because of what you did wrong. Perhaps, in the eyes of others, your appearance is a mistake. No matter how well you do, you are wrong to others.
Too much care about other people’s words, you will be the only one who will get sad.
Today, he told me: He wants to resign, got blamed for something he did not do, feels sad.
He can’t play up to those in power, he can’t condescend to do anything.
Most of the time, not everything will work the ways you want, it’s not that you will get what you want once you work hard for it. Learn to be calm and accept those frustrations.
If you can’t play up to those in power, can’t condescend to do anything, do not force yourself, learn to let it go.
There will always injustice in the work. However, sometimes, even if you have suffered the wrong, it will not be in exchange for someone else’s understanding, but rather intensified.
Complaining often leaves you in a negative mood and makes you feel sadder.
Don’t complain, learn to let it go. Do what you like, because being sad is the most tired.
Don’t care so much, feel relieved, let go, be at ease
There is an old monk who is very fond of orchids, other than spending time on praying, he spent a lot of time on orchids.
One day, he went out for a period of time, before leaving, he asked his disciples to take good care of the orchids in the temple. During this period, the disciples always take good care of the orchids, but one day, while watering the plants, accidentally knocked down the orchid rack, all the orchid pots are broken, orchids scattered all over the ground.
The disciples were so panicked that they planned to wait for the monk to come back and ask for forgiveness.
When the monk came back, heard this matter, he then called his disciples, he did not blame them but said: “I plant the orchids, one is to hope for the Buddha, the other is also to beautify the temple environment, not to be angry. Do not count the gains and losses of orchids, do not punish the disciples because of the disciples’ mistakes, do not use the disciples’ mistakes to make himself angry and sad.”
Don’t forget the purpose to plant the orchids in the first place, so that you won’t get troubled when losing the orchids.
In our daily life, we tend to over-calculate our losses, so we are often worried. When you get it, you worry that one day you will lose it, and when you don’t get it, you start worrying about it.
Stuck in the suffering of the loss and the gain, you will get depressed.
Do not take into account personal gains and losses, learn to release those irreparable mistakes, and do not because of the fault of others, and blame others, punish yourself.
Don’t compare, learn to fade.
A few days ago, I saw a post in which many people are telling how they were destroyed by online loans and credit cards.
There is a comment said that she originally just saw a friend who has a good-looking bag, but it is barely affordable with her own salary, so she bought it. And then, she has a great sense of vanity, her comparison mindset is out of control. As long as her friend got something, she must own it too, or even own a better one.
If her salary is not enough, she goes on loans and in debt.
One day, vanity like a soap bubble was punctured by reality, and she fell from the clouds to the ground. She understands her own comparison that brings herself such a disaster.
So she stopped comparing, restrained her material desires, and worked hard to pay off her debt.
She said she wasn’t happy before, worrying every day. Fear of her own vanity is torn apart, but also afraid that others have better than her.
On the contrary, there is no comparison, although her lives are much worse than before, but she is much happier than before.
We always have all kinds of comparisons. Other people’s children, other people’s wives (husbands), other people’s parents and so on endlessly. You know, “I” is just one person, and “others” are thousands of people. Comparing my own weaknesses with the strengths of thousands of people. No matter what, it’s a defeat.
Compare too much, it will always be you who will lose.
Don’t compare yourself with others. Face your own shortcomings, change whatever you can change; When facing the advantages of others, learn whatever you can from them;