The most basic assumption that people are attracted to people is that others are a reward to us.
In most cases, the more direct rewards people offer, the more attractive they become to us. If others give us a lot of praise and interest, we will be very happy with this attention and acceptance, if others are intelligent and beautiful, we will enjoy these pleasing personal characteristics because such an obvious pleasure is a direct reward.
Attraction has many factors that influence it.
The first is proximity.
We will like the people around us, such as students sitting next to us in class, then students in front and back of us. We will always choose to communicate with people around us, whether it is friends or lovers, because people close to us, we are more likely to get their appreciation, such as the warmth of the day, physical discomfort, and timely care.
Those distant people, after all, is a gap between time and space.
There is an effect called the mere-exposure effect. If a person is always in front of you, your love for him/her will deepen.
If you often go to the library, often meet the same person, and then, every time you go to the library, you will put more attention to him/her. If you meet the same person during the dinner hours, you may probably have dinner together.
The second is looks.
We all like good-looking people, subconsciously will associate beauty with good, and even feel that the beautiful people will be more talented. Experimental studies have shown that people have surprisingly consistent answers about whether someone is beautiful or not.
The attractiveness of looks plays an important role when relationships are first established.
We will like people who like us, and if that person says they like our characteristics or the way we do things, we will pay more attention to them and like them.
So in life, if you want to become more attractive, then express more appreciation and like others more. With reciprocity, the other person will be more likely to like you.
If we meet a person who is exactly like us, has the same interest or taste, we will unconsciously feel cordial. The more similar two people are, the more they like each other.
Research shows that it is difficult to be happy to find someone who is the opposite of your personality.
The person you’re looking for is better if he/she is the one you’re looking for, and a little better than you, and that’s when you feel like it’s a match.
After all, someone who has a similar personality like us is a pleasant and rewarding thing, and if a person has a lot in common with you, you’ll expect to be happy with him, and you’ll expect them to like you.
We’ll love what we can’t get.
Why do we like what we can’t get? Because people have a basic psychological tendency, especially hope that they can work hard to overcome obstacles to achieve their own goals.
So when we face loss and can’t get what we what, in the end, we end up want more.