Have you ever fancied your death?


Have you ever thought about suicide? Have you tried to commit suicide?

Have you ever searched the Internet for “Hundred ways to commit suicide”, and then choose the least painful method and rot in your heart, but belatedly bury it.

Because of fear, fear of your body lying in the freezer in the hospital morgue, frozen into hard state, the cold body wearing the new clothes carefully prepared by your family, while the bloodless face was painted with vibrant makeup, transported to the crematorium, your family holding the cremated ashes, like a walking dead, hollow eyes, desperate face full of tears, walking forward slowly, aimless but know that it is time to go to the cemetery.

Afraid of parents’ faces getting older written with despair, afraid that they have been depressed because of my departure, afraid of every reunion holiday, my family parents can only face my spirit tablet, seeing neighborhood family laughter through the window, and my family is lifeless.

But also afraid that after many years, parents have replaced me with another child, they had buried me deep in the heart, until gradually forgotten, this is my hope but also not what I hope for.

Fear of being forgotten, so trying to become what we expect, but finally find that we are further away from what we expect, we begin to become decadent, unconfident, and begin to escape, fear, step by step to push ourselves into the abyss of despair.

Human is strange and contradictory, in a variety of tangles, slowly healing themselves, but at the same time, become more and more desperate, and repeat the cycle again.

Suddenly one day, you are sick, from an ordinary season cold that you thought, slowly developed into tracheitis, every night unable to sleep because of the coughing, that parents’ eyes full of worried. Looking at the parents grow older, you wonder you have experience love.

Can you see from the eyes of parents, that should be bright but began to fade, because of health anxiety, afraid of losing their children.

As they grow older, their bodies begin to change, and they begin to fear their old age, afraid that they will become a burden on their children.

When you see all this, will you continue to stick to your inner ignorance and ridiculous thoughts?

Suicide? Oh, it’s ridiculous, why do you have such a childish but creepy idea?

suicide

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In fact, as long as you pay attention, slowly you will find that life is not so narrow as you say to see, making you despair;

You will find that the good side of life, you begin to use your heart to feel all the good things around you, not limited to what you see with your eyes, you will find that you around you are some of the things you think that makes you despair, even fear, in fact, is only a little thing.

When you smile at yourself, there is nothing in the world that can haunt you, and no one in the world can deceive you when you are sincere with yourself. If you look forward to tomorrow, you must first accept the reality in front of you. The warm sun, the wind has its own fragrance, occasionally there are faint memories, but as time continues, everything is beautiful.

Living in between passion and bland, life can coexist in the dream and reality.

Life itself is good, one day we will all fade with time, we will eventually follow the trajectory of life and naturally die, the pursuit of life will be the road of someone walking.

I can’t see what happened after I died, but when I was alive, I was happy to think of it.

It’s not someone or something that bothers me, it’s that I worry myself with someone, something.

There are six “friends” in life: confidence is the pillar, the goal is motivation, think twice is the helmsman, exercise is health, knowledge is wealth, contentment is great joy.

To overcome the anxiety and depression of life, we must first learn to be our own master.

Therefore, please do not be your own enemies, always yearn for good things, do not limit yourself to the trivial things around, stop, and feel the beauty around them;

And enjoy every moment of life!


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